Wednesday, 21 March 2012

BBFC vs BBFC Veterans

Saturday saw the first of the eagerly anticipated CBeebies Vs The Elks grudge match, with the fresh faced CBeebies sneaking a late winner for the game to finish 2-1. Pre-match festivities were high as the beer and sausage rolls were used as an incentive to lure the Elks off the car park on to the pitch. While Taff kindly supplied soft drinks and sweets for children and Cebeebies alike. Due to lack of officials Cruickshank of the Elk clan stepped forward to ref the game and a lack of flags proved to be of no concern as the Elks produced their mating horns. 
 
The first half saw the CBeebies have the majority of the possession however they failed to turn this into goals. JJ, Charlie, Carter and Phil all had chances but were denied by stand-in Elk keeper Chum who made a series of solid saves. The Elks also managed to produce chances of their own, with Garthy putting one shot just over the bar following a poorly defended corner. Experience showed on the pitch in the first half with the CBeebies being found offside in a record breaking 20 times in a 45 minute period, the Elk defence capitalising on the enthusiasm of the Cebeebies runs. In the middle of the pitch the battle of Shanks vs Neary raged on with screams, roars, heavy panting and giggling bellowing around Gainsborough! Cruicky brought the half to a close with score at 0-0.
 


The second half started in the same manner as the first, with the CBeebies starting on the front foot but failing to convert chances due to some solid defending and goalkeeping from the Elks. The veteran side began to get the ball on the ground more frequently and had good spells of possession and begain to create chances, forcing the CBeebies defence into some good tackles. Garthy again came close for the Elks from another corner, with his header just skimming over the bar. The younsters responded well following this attempt and earned themselves a corner of their own. Phil put in a great corner which was 'shouldered' in by Rhino, scoring his first goal of the season and putting the CBeebies in front.





Following the goal the match became more closely matched with both teams carving out chances. The second goal of the game arrived and went the way of the Elks. Following a defensive mix up by the CBeebies Garthy played JJ through who finished well to bring the game level at 1-1. The CBeebies were clearly frustrated by the goal and started playing more direct in an attempt to snatch a winner, this also allowed the Elks opportunities to seek a winner of their own on the break. Late in the half the winner was scored by Carter to send the CBeebies on their way to an important win. Phil had broken through through the Elks and had lifted the ball over Chum only for Jock to 'accidently' trip Phil in the box......but Carter was on hand to knock the free ball into an empty net. The Elks pushed on in the final five to find another equaliser but it was not to be and the youngsters took first blood in what is sure to be the war of the apocolapse as CBeebies battle the Elks!


Sir Graham Plummington-Plum
Lord Of Gainsborough Manor




We also received this letter to our very own Points Of View programme hosted daily by Des Lynam on the BBTV digital channel...



Dear Points Of View, 

We are writing in regards to the association football match on Saturday in which the regular Black Boy FC team locked horns with the newly formed diet version of the Black Boy – The Elks. As the founding members of the newly formed side, it was nice to receive the warm welcome that we did as we arrived in the gravel based, pot holed landing zone you youngsters call the car park. To be greeted by that charming disabled man was a lovely touch and added to that the honour of being able to meet one of the players, already kitted up and sporting a cake based nickname - was a dream come true for some of our pensioners. 

The hospitality didn’t stop there with several youngsters performing a ritual known as ‘belly’ patting on some of our players was also much appreciated.   

As for the game we were really looking forward to the challenge of playing against some of the best players in the Bury & District league division two and although they didn’t turn up in the end, found the opposition provided was ample for our needs. We do however strongly oppose the treatment of that poor little disabled man, who having finished his job as welcome committee was made to hide under a fishing umbrella whilst the game was on. Restricted view seats are one thing, but the disability ticketing scheme at your club needs to be addressed. At one point the poor little retard was so close to the action that he was struck on the leg by the ball which could have seriously harmed him. As it was he showed a nice touch and to be honest I think that the benefit fraud agency may well want to re-open his case - although to be fair to them he does have one of those mong-like faces so could be on the level.   

As for the game itself, the Elks found the experiencing enlightening and have since agreed to continue the journey by entering a league, although we won’t be doing it in hand-me-downs. It should also be mentioned that who ever used to play number ‘4’ for the Black Boy juniors suffers from terrible bad body odour, whilst I’m assuming that the number 3 shirt was owned by that of a small Irish child?. Thanks should also be passed on to the flying banana who stood in the goal for 90 minutes, only moving once to get out of the way of the ball to level the game. Well done to Sylvester Stallone for scoring the touch down there – foam fingers were waving like nobody’s business all over Manhatten as that went in.

It was also nice to see some of the Black Boy juniors extending their hospitality into the evening, although we did all appreciate that most had to go home early as it was ‘bath night’. The young Leighton brothers made up for the departure of the younger members by staying out until well after bed time – I can only assume that these two are gypsies and don’t live by the usual rules? - particularly as the older one seemed to have a bad addiction to Faust deine Freundin. 

Anyway, we just wanted to officially thank all of the members of the Black Boy CBeebies for a lovely day out. Next year, you can come to our place. 

Kind Regards 

Miss Dave Neary and Juan Sok Revens

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