Brighton 2012

Like last season and the one before, and stretching back through history, so began another Black Boy Jolly and this year the destination was the good old English seaside town of Brighton. While the weekend may be a little blurry for certain members of the team, it may be best to recap simply with a string of words in true BBFC style. Here goes:

Weatherspoons, First Class Leighton, England Hats, Heart Ticket Stamp, Morning Beer, Banjo Strings, Ringo Leaves His Coat On The Train, Get Your Tats Out, Sean's Aftershock, Driver Arrival, Tabasco Pint, Sweatbox Triple Bunks, Beer Me, Steven Gerrard, Batesy's Shower Wee, "I'm An Individual", The Kremlin, Sweepstakes, Congested Pub, "Rape My Dog", Puke Arm, Taff's Sweden Celebration, "Theo Walcott Has Fingered My Nan", Shanksy's Dancing Technique, "The Elephant Maaan", England Win, Hed Kandi, Engaged Emma, The Fart Fan, Ladder Fun, You Ewok C*nt, Breakfast Cornetto, Driver's Lay In, Sealife Centre, "Look At You", Catalogue Pose, Kelp Slapping, Crazy Golf, The Boyband Photo, Sean Drives The Train, Smelly Loos, No Bob, Spotting Superhans, Leaky Ceiling, Triple Brighton Sausage, Su-Ling, Minesweeping The Bar, She's Going To Need Bigger Wings, No Large Groups, Frank Black Beats Up A Guitar, Jock The Blowfish, Driver's Pegging Technique, Hed Kandi Again, Charlie Steals A Girl's Coat, £1000 Kitty, Taff's Sea Piss, Ringo Headlines A Festival, 4am Coin Toss, Dave Neary: Eastern European Shoe Balancing Champion, The Cup Smuggler, Chinge, The Rasta Man, Cyclists, Gingerbread Ted, Pier, Deal Or No Deal, Leighton's Ticket Scarf, The French Cowboy And The Sheriff, Volvic Girls, I'm In The Mood For Dancing, Gun Confiscation, Looooong Train Ride Home, Diagnosing Thrush, The Dime-Bar Anecdote, Cottage Cheese Discharge, Human Centipede, Back In Bury, …Time For Another Beer!

And here are a few pictures to jog a few memories:

Morning Beer

Catalogue Pose

Cup Smuggler

You Ewok C*nt

England Hats

Jock The Blowfish

Usual Suspects

Charlie Leighton

Editor In Chief

BBFC vs BBFC Veterans

Saturday saw the return of the vicious child-devouring Elks to Bury St Edmunds to once more wage war against the Black Boy Cbeebies. Due to the home pitch goalposts being removed, the game was instead held at the British Sugar pitch which consisted of long grass at the edges and a bare salt plain in the middle. We couldn't have picked a better day… for a barbecue… but instead foolishly decided to settle our rivalry with a game of football which was greeted by groans from both teams as the smug subs bench dug into a crate of beer.

Having decided to take our final game of the season seriously, it gave the team another opportunity to pick names from the hat - with James Driver somehow picking out the dreaded "Bastard-in-the-black" ticket. And so, after practicing launching balls into the hedgerow rather than warming up Martin in goal, we lined up and got the game underway in the searing heat.

The youngsters certainly had the better of the early chances with the untested centreback pairing of Bates and Austin reduced to spectators for much of the time while the Black Boy carved out several half chances without anything clear cut. Our best outlet was Barrie Johnston who often dropped deep to link the play well and find through balls for our wingers. The Elk defence was however proving difficult to break down - that was until neat interplay between central midfielders Carl Wager and Charlie Leighton ended with the latter finding the corner of the net from around 60 yards, no make that 70, and with his previously unheard of right foot.

Following the goal, the game settled a little more as the players found their positions and began to play the ball around well without troubling the Veteran keeper who was mostly employed by taking a string of goal kicks which ranged from "I think that one has gone in the tennis courts" to "will someone drive to Great Barton and find that ball". When we did create an opening, Rees' good run was met with a finish which didn't match his movement as he skewed wide from close range with the goal at his mercy.

Thankfully a worse miss was just around the corner after Leighton picked out Michael Monksfield about half and yard out, only for the lumbering oaf to clear the bar by a distance. The half was brightened further with a spectacular run from right back by Rhino who covered about 3 miles by running straight down the line to the corner flag and the right along the goal line before handing the ball straight to the keeper and collapsing in a heap. It was reminiscent of playing a game of snake when your phone battery is about to die.

Half time saw team moral take a hit as the subs could chose where they were coming on to play and who they wanted to replace - as long as they could find 3 valid reasons why the other player was shit. And so the second half began in much the same way as the first which the Cbeebies keeping good possession without really threatening the goal. The difference this half was that everybody wanted to get in on the goalscoring act which soon came courtesy of Shanks making a mends for his earlier miss with a delicate chip over the Elk goalie. A third followed not long after when Phil delivered a short freekick into the box and Rees flicked on for Chris Wager to leap and power his close range header into the net.

As the half wore on, the heat began to take it's toll on both sides and the Veterans brought on a number of substitutes to keep things fresh, including the long awaited return of Paul Cruickshank from continuous injury. The result was that the Elks were coming more and more into the game and eventually they got their consolation goal in sloppy circumstances as Leighton gave the ball away cheaply and after several ricochets and missed tackles, the ball was eventually bundled home despite an airshot attempted clearance on the line. Finally Driver brought the game to an end and we could all relax, have a beer and enjoy the sunshine. The post-game trophy presentation followed the match so congratulations to the following people - all richly deserved:

Players Player Of The Year - Carl Wager

Own Goal Of The Season - Steve Flanagan

Golden Boot - Phil Cowlan

Chairmans Player Of The Year - Barry Johnston

Managers Player Of The Year - Gareth Adams

Lieutenant Charles Leighton

Black Boy Black-Ops Division